♪ It's like riding on the wind, and it never goes away

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
A secret I've kept locked away, no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head, for years and years they've played

...

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past



Yeah, think what you want for me posting Linkin Park lyrics, particularly from this song. I don't give a fuck right now.

And just when I thought I was making progress...


ETA: And now there's butterflies. Just saying.

Deleted the last entry I put up. Not because no one replied to it by the time I did so, but because it was a Bad Idea. I hate doing stuff like that, and entries like that just reinforce the problem that was in them.

I'm sorry.

( Depressing stuff, bleh. There's more interesting things below. )


ANYWAY. I'm starting one of those 30 Day memes, pulled from my f-list. Might do that anime one I've seen going around later, I dunno.

( Day 1: Introduce yourself. )


( The list )

Edit: Changed my layout. I think I like this one better.


I haven't eaten very much today. Like, the quantity of what I've eaten all day amounts to less than I'd eat at lunch. And right now I only feel slightly hungry, it's... weird. Really weird. In fact... Now that I think about it, my eating patterns have been on a sliding downhill slope. I'm just generally... eating less, or doing more grazing rather than actual meals (which I know sometimes nets you bigger food amounts in the overall, but still). Knowing me it's probably depression-related, since I've certainly been going through a funk lately. It just... kinda worries me, is all.


...Is it the 27th yet? I think getting out of Durham for a week is just what I need.


Aside from that, I'm glad my online source for Handy Manny episodes (which is the official site, btw) has finally put up semi-recently aired Picture Perfect, because I dearly want a better screenshot of this moment. In a weird way I kinda ship those two, although I think it partly stems from an AU I've been working on where they're actually human, but whatever XD


Just to round out the entry, have a meme from my f-list.

Comment with a fandom and I'll tell you:

1. The first character I fell in love with:
2. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now:
3. The character everyone else loves that I don’t:
4. The character I love that everyone else hates:
5. The character I would shag anytime:
6. The character I'd want to be like:
7. The character I'd slap:
8. A pairing that I love:
9. A pairing that I despise:
10. Favorite character:
11. What are my five favorite things about the fandom.
12. What are my five least favorite things about the fandom.
13. Who are my five favorite characters.
14. Who are my five least favorite characters.
15. What are my five favorite pairings.
16. What are my five least favorite pairings.
17. Which character are you most like.
18. What is my deep, dark fandom secret.


So have I alienated my f-list yet?

Shit... Depressed again... Sometimes I wish I could just rant it all out like I did when I was a kid, but-... No, nevermind. Nobody on my f-list wants to hear about my petty problems. I think it's just caused by being lonely, anyway.



On a brighter note, my Platinum team is better balanced than before. I traded out my Bronzor and Kadabra for a Houndour Houndoom and Gyarados. At least I've got a Surf-er now. Go me.

Triple posted at DA, LJ, and YG.


I was told this morning that the car was in need of repairs. $1500 repairs. That's $1500 we don't have. I'm not begging, you guys know I don't do that. I'm just letting you guys know that I might lose my internet connection for a while. Even if I don't, I'll probably be quieter than usual due to trying to find emergency employment. You can know whether my quietness is due to no internet or to just being busy by checking my status at DeviantArt; I try to come on at least once a day to clear my messages, so if the time reflects that, then I still have my internet. If I do lose my internet, then baka_koinu will pass along any messages/updates I might have.

It's going to be rough the next few weeks for me; wish me luck, guys.

(Title translation)
Such a warm feeling...
Tell me, what's the name that people give to it?
--"Hiru no Tsuki", from Outlaw Star
(from AnimeLyrics.com, blame them if it's wrong ^^; )


Secondary Current Music: Day-O - Harry Belafonte ("Come Mr. Tally-man, tally me banana..." Gods, I wanna watch Beetlejuice now XD)


I need to change my icon again ^^;...


I've beaten Kingdom Hearts! Okay, that might not sound like a big achievement, except I'm not the world's best RPG player ^^; Or, I don't think I am, anyway o.o I'm good at platforms and some puzzle games, not RPG's. Well, except for FF7 and similar, anyway... Now I just need Chain of Memories, and then 2..


XDXD What randomness can bring....Cam (my nephew) is playing Kingdom Hearts (go figure) in the background, and I heard Sora shout "Thunder!" once, then "Thunder!" once again, so I shout, from the other room, "Thundercats....ho!!!" And if you've never seen Thundercats, just ignore that XD


In less pleasant news, I had another mini-breakdown earlier this afternoon. Chandler (Cam's sister) mentioned she'd get to open a present on Friday at her house. Then my father comments that Friday, he's buying me a Christmas present. Now, understand, there's money problems in my house right now (the reason I'm so desperately searching for a job), and I wasn't even EXPECTING anything this year, from any of my family members (from my father because of money, and from everyone else because...they're just like that). So, needless to say, I was stunned. I turned to him and said he didn't need to, but he said he'd insist on it. I would have protested further, but I felt a sting at the bottoms of my eyes, and I knew I had to get out of there. I went in the livingroom and just sat, letting silent tears fall, floored by the fact that...that even though there's all these problems, with money and anything else...Even though I'm not the model daughter, by a longshot...that he'd still get me something. Even when I said I'd buy myself my own gifts this year, over the course of the next year or so. I...guess that's why I cried. That's about the best reason I could put to it.


And in cheerier news, Projet: Français (aka teaching myself French) is coming along alright. I know many more words than I did before, at least xD; Lately it's slowed down, due to several factors. Ah well, c'est la vie!


[shameless self-promotion]
For the Code Lyoko fans out there, I've been writing more! So feel free to browse the three below xD (Listed with link, title, and the summary as it appears at FF.net)
Hiru no Tsuki
Songfic about Aelita. Does she really belong here on Earth? She's not so sure... Read and review if you want!

Daytime Moon
The sequel to "Hiru no Tsuki." Yes, so soon :P Aelita wasn't alone, and the other has got his own thoughts on his mind...

Rest Of My Life
Songfic; one-shot maybe. Someone has decided to tell his love how he feels... Does she feel the same way?
[/shameless self-promotion]



Semi-Random Pic of the Moment



An image based off of Daytime Moon. Ha, I'm getting better at drawing Jeremie xD

My life is not very enjoyable right now, y'know that? I'm a coward. Plain and simple, I am a coward. I refuse to read a friend's letters because I can't bear reading the depressing words that I know are in there, because I am the one that's hurt him. I can't do it! I just can't. So instead I back away, tuck myself into a ball in some dark corner, and let the built up tears flow. Then again, I've never had a spine...Double D has more of a spine than I do, I swear.

Other than that, I suppose everything's....reasonably alright. Money's been really tight lately, and I'm scrambling around for a job...with little success. Oh, and I think my body is 'subtley' telling me to become a vegetarian. It's starting to reject all sorts of meat. Chicken went down first--the very thought of it makes me nauseous. Lately I've been having problems with beef, and turkey's starting to give me stomachaches and things too. Fish might follow. Why this is happening, I have NO idea x_X;

I had some weird ideas for an RP last night. One involves a young kid (12 years old, appx) named Jake. Well techinically his name his Jake K--....well, I don't want to say >) But he's a half-demon. The idea was spurred by some recent RP's, and yes they involve Inuyasha (the character, not the series), and also a character of mine that's a full demon with a human form (think Sesshomaru). Needless to say, it's going to be very interesting...

Anyway, enjoy the quizzes below (some of which I stole from Jem's journal, haha xD), and also pretty soon I should be changing the color scheme for the journal, so at least it won't be a carbon copy of my other one xD
NEW: Like my new journal colors? I think I'll keep it this way, for now. May do some tweaking later. Anyway, I call it 'Odd One Out', and it's inspired by the one on the left! XDXD




Your an Outcast Angel! These angels were once upon
a time, very loved, and of the highest ranks of
all the angels. But, when something terrible
happened in their lives, much like the
dark-angels, the outcats leave the heavens and
move down to earth. Out cats angel are not
nessearily evil. In fact, they are quite kind,
but filled with greif and guilt unimaginable.
Outcast angels are usually formed when they
have failed something, and ridden with guilt,
they are banned out of heaven, sent down to
earth, and live alone. They are always quite
and sad, and rarely contact with humans. If a
huam befriends an outcast angel, they have a
friend for life.


What Kind of ANGEL are you? (For Girls only) This Quiz has amazingly Beautiful Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla




Faerie:
Faeries are sweet loving beings who love to help
people. They are not held back by reality and
love to dream and fly around. You probably are
very creative and although not the most popular
person in the world you are probably loved by
many for your sweet caring personality.


What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla




Your a guardien Unicorn! All guardien Unicorns are
very powerful and loyal, but they dont like to
get caught up in human things, such as love or
friendship. They guard all sorts of things or
people, such as forests, animals, royalty,
shrines, the heavans. Guradien Unicorns are
kind and proud and their horn can be crafted
into an unbreakable sword. But you'll go
through hell to get one...


What kind of Unicorn are you? (With beautiful pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla




My life is rated R.
What is your life rated?




You are the fire dragon.Nothhing matters to
you.You'd rather torch a village than make
peace with the wizards.Watch that fiery
temperature!You will kill anything that strays
into your territory.You don't get along with
most things except females/males and you lay a
clutch of at least 10 eggs!!!!! ;-) you evil
thing you.


What type of Dragon are you
brought to you by Quizilla

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Zang! Who is that, prowling amidst the steppes! It is Kuna_emie, hands clutching a burning branch! And with a bloodthirsty howl, her voice cometh: "Ares, God of War, be praised! I come like a storm and lay waste like a hurricane!!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Who's Your Anime Boyfriend?