(no subject)
Sep. 29th, 2008 07:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
roll_soulSorry for the f-list spam; I know I just updated but something's on my mind... Namely, about my mental health.
No, I don't mean whether I've got OCD or I'm insane or not. I'm concerned about my physical mental health, if that makes any sense.
Over the past few years, I've been noticing that my mind seems to be deteriorating. I feel like my brain is slowly melting, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I've been stuttering a lot more, I forget things easier (not just dates and things, but how to spell things or what makes what tick), and my grammar is slowly falling to pieces, almost like I'm forgetting how to even speak English.
I'm not sure what's causing it. It might be genetic, but if it is... It's WAY ahead of its time, isn't it? I'm essentially 24 now. Is that too early for my memory to be going like this? Is it too soon to be coming apart?...
What brings all of this to mind tonight was an incident with my dad earlier. It started simply enough; he said he was going to the store and wanted to know if I wanted anything. And yet, it took me about 5 minutes to stammer out "I want those peanut butter M&Ms that I saw on sale the other day" (which has been simplified for here, since I felt the need to give way more details than was needed).
Sure, that might not sound like much. But it's getting to be now where I, normally efficient in the way I talk and do things, am taking forever to arrive at a point (those who talk to me on the phone know this well). I'm also forgetting promises, forgetting numbers...
It's not like I don't exercise my mind. I read everyday, and I like to do little puzzles sometimes. RP itself is an exercise too, isn't it? And I'm not destroying it myself, I think. When I watch TV, it's usually something on the History Channel, or something that makes you THINK, so it's not like I only watch vapid, annoying TV shows... I play video games that make you think, and make you remember how to get from point A to B to C to D. And I love getting into debates and things that delve into something's psyche...
*sighs* I don't know. Long story short, I don't feel as sharp as I used to be, and it's really scaring me, especially since I don't know what's doing it...
No, I don't mean whether I've got OCD or I'm insane or not. I'm concerned about my physical mental health, if that makes any sense.
Over the past few years, I've been noticing that my mind seems to be deteriorating. I feel like my brain is slowly melting, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I've been stuttering a lot more, I forget things easier (not just dates and things, but how to spell things or what makes what tick), and my grammar is slowly falling to pieces, almost like I'm forgetting how to even speak English.
I'm not sure what's causing it. It might be genetic, but if it is... It's WAY ahead of its time, isn't it? I'm essentially 24 now. Is that too early for my memory to be going like this? Is it too soon to be coming apart?...
What brings all of this to mind tonight was an incident with my dad earlier. It started simply enough; he said he was going to the store and wanted to know if I wanted anything. And yet, it took me about 5 minutes to stammer out "I want those peanut butter M&Ms that I saw on sale the other day" (which has been simplified for here, since I felt the need to give way more details than was needed).
Sure, that might not sound like much. But it's getting to be now where I, normally efficient in the way I talk and do things, am taking forever to arrive at a point (those who talk to me on the phone know this well). I'm also forgetting promises, forgetting numbers...
It's not like I don't exercise my mind. I read everyday, and I like to do little puzzles sometimes. RP itself is an exercise too, isn't it? And I'm not destroying it myself, I think. When I watch TV, it's usually something on the History Channel, or something that makes you THINK, so it's not like I only watch vapid, annoying TV shows... I play video games that make you think, and make you remember how to get from point A to B to C to D. And I love getting into debates and things that delve into something's psyche...
*sighs* I don't know. Long story short, I don't feel as sharp as I used to be, and it's really scaring me, especially since I don't know what's doing it...
